Thoughts on Motherhood

I have been a mom for 13 years now. I thank God every single day that I received the gift of motherhood. I was nearly 40 at the time of my son's birth. I had a high risk pregnancy. There were frequent prenatal visits, tests, test RESULTS... Results that led to Prenatal Genetic Counseling to discuss risks, options... It was a scary time.  I've never talked much about that experience. Instead, I keep it quiet as I humble myself and keep gratitude top of mind. My heart aches to know that things can and do end differently. I know how fortunate I am to have a positive outcome. I know that my child is a miracle. My miracle. I want to move through this life as a mother always trying (through my actions) to somehow deserve this role, this child. My son.

Was I overprotective? In some cases, yes. In others, no. It's silly to me now how I perceived risks. I put a helmet on my 2 year old when he rode his first tricycle. I look at the video now and see how my child was careful and slow, with a low center of gravity. Not very likely of experiencing a fall. Not a very risky scenario at all.  But at the time, I made sure he was protected. I have posted a short video and you can clearly see there was no imminent danger. 

His pediatrician warned about not sharing the same spoon when feeding our baby. Germs. His Grandfather would spoon feed my little one from his dish, with the same spoon that he fed himself. I cringed. In my head, the doctor's advice SHOUTING at me to stop him. I let it go. The pure JOY on Grandpa's face (and in his voice) as my little voracious eater shared a meal with his grandfather.... I could not take that from either of them. The love they shared with each other AND with food was a sight to behold. My baby, probably only 18 months old at the time (maybe even younger) LOVED the soup they were eating. He was like a baby bird with this mouth open and ready for the next spoonful. We lost his grandfather a few years later. He was only 4 years old at the time of his passing. I don't know if he remembers being fed, but I remind him of the story from time to time and can't help but wonder about how their foodie adventures would be like now...

If there was food, they would be sharing!

Final thoughts:

Would tell to my 41 year old self to not worry and skip the bike helmet? Probably not. It seems overprotective of me NOW looking back. But back then, I felt like I did the right thing. If anything, it eased my mind. Took my worry away.

13 years into my motherhood journey and I still have worries. They are evolving as he grows up. I trust that he has a strong foundation and I try my best to remind him I will be here with a safe landing pad should he ever need me.

How do we protect our kids as they enter their teen years?